A Christmas Carol - 2019, film

Title:
A Christmas Carol
 
Format:
Digitally released short-ish feature film for online streaming
 
Country:
UK
 
Production company:
Acclaim Video
 
Year:
2019
 
Length:
40 minutes
 
Setting:
Contemporary (sort of)
 
Background:
2019 seems to have been a bit a year for Carol adaptations. As well as the high-profile – and, in my view, fairly appalling – television version, there were also several direct-to-streaming versions. Perhaps in the digital age, with not just the making but the distribution of films now becoming more accessible to a wider number of people, it’s no surprise that there are ever more obscure versions of the Carol popping up. After all, if you’re keen to make your very own film, it makes sense to pick a strong and popular story which is also handily out-of-copyright. So many others have had a go, why not you?

Cast and crew:
The ‘you’ in question in this particular case is director and scriptwriter Marc Hamill, who also crops up as Marley’s ghost. It’s difficult to find out much about Hamill – there a paragraph of information on his IMDb page, but as said text appears to have been submitted by Hamill itself, you have to take it with a pinch of salt. He claims to have acted as a ‘technical adviser’ to the likes of Jamiroquai and Daft Punk – whatever that means – and he has a few credits to his name, mostly for shorts. His next project after this was apparently Aliens vs Nuns…
 
For the cast, Hamill appears to have kept it in the family, with one Carl Hamill appearing as Bob Cratchit, and Leia and Kara Hamill as ‘Child 1’ and ‘Child 2’. Lead actor David Hardware as Scrooge mostly just has appearances in other shorts to his name, including some others directed by Hamill, with whom he appears to be a regular collaborator.
 
The rest of the cast similarly appear to mostly have short film work as the majority of their screen credits, with some appearances as extras in big films here and there.
 
Underdone Potato:
This is a decidedly weird version, which to seems to have been almost entirely built around the fact that Hamill had some sort of access to a themed Victorian street market set-up in which to film. However, evidently realising that it was going to be difficult to pass this off as a genuinely Victorian setting, he does at least have the sense to establish that the film is actually set somewhere close to the present day, where there happens to be a Victorian-themed street fair taking place.
 
Not that any of this is clear from the outset, however. After some opening narration from… someone, sitting by a Christmas tree reading from a book, we go into the premises of Scrooge and Marley – a company of pawnbrokers, moneylenders and, to judge from the stock they have around the office, a sweet shop too. Everything looks sort of Victorian, but there’s a modern-looking till on Scrooge’s desk and Bob has some lines about having set up a website for the business against Scrooge’s wishes, so it all becomes a bit confusing. Bob also has an odd line assuring Scrooge he wouldn’t list any of the “unsuitable” stock online, which makes me wonder if they also deal in sex toys or something.

"No, I said that Scrooge and Marley ran a SWEAT shop...!"

Further confusion is caused by Scrooge evidently being anti-technology, refusing to even use so much as a calculator, although he has one hidden away in his drawers. He gets three visits to his office rather than the usual two – Fred and the charitable gentlemen are preceded by a young woman wanting to pawn a bracelet, who when Scrooge refuses begs for a job instead, but is sent away.
 
Bob and Scrooge have their conversation about the former having the day off tomorrow, before Scrooge heads home – in what appears to be broad daylight, which doesn’t really make sense for close-of-business towards the end of December. There’s a decent stab at an approximation of his going for dinner at his “melancholy tavern”, with a fair modern equivalent given of a run-down café. There’s further dating confusion here, though, as after the Victorian look and website mention, Scrooge sits and reads a mid-20^th century copy of the Daily Mirror.
 
When Scrooge gets home, we have an interminable scene of him checking all around his – admittedly suitably grotty and run-down – house for ghosts after seeing Marley’s face in the knocker. I mean, it goes on forever.

You fully deserve to be in chains for making such a bloody awful film as this!

When Marley turns up, he offers rough approximations of his lines from the book, although this feels less down to Hamill making changes in the script and more to him being such an appalling actor that he can’t remember what he’s supposed to say. A clue to this is the fact that after Scrooge points out that Marley was always a good man of business, his “Mankind was my business!” rant contains Marley claiming that charity and “malevolence” were his concern. I can only assume Hamill was aiming for “benevolence,” but it does betray a general sloppiness and lack of care.
 
Past:
The Ghost of Christmas Past is a young man with a beard, who doesn’t seem to possess any particularly candle-like qualities, but does have a fetching scarf around his head and a very softly-spoken manner.

He only shows Scrooge a single vision in the version I saw. I say this because the version on Amazon Prime is only 40 minutes, whereas the film’s IMDb entry claims there’s a 75-minute version. Frankly, though, even if that is the case I’m not particularly disposed to ever try and find it. 40 minutes of this is already far more than anyone should have to sit through.
 
The one vision shown is Scrooge’s break-up scene with Belle. In a piece of casting that it’s perhaps surprising isn’t done more often, the young Scrooge here is played by the same actor as Fred, Aaron Murray. Murray does an okay job in both roles and might actually be the best ‘actor’ in the thing, if you can really give anyone appearing here that title.
 
Present:
The Ghost of Christmas Present is introduced after Scrooge walks through a kind of pound shop Narnia world in a wardrobe, and finds him sitting in a cheap Father Christmas robe, clutching a bottle looking like some street corner alcoholic.

"Look, she took the bloody kids, right...?"

 
After travelling through what looks like a 1990s Windows screensaver, they arrive at Bob Cratchit’s house – where for reasons unexplained, many of them are still in Victorian garb. They’re having a ‘Christmas soup’ for their meal because they’re so poor, but although we get a glimpse of their meal, most of what we learn about them is conveyed by the narrator.

Through the screensaver!

Given that the Cratchit scene was clearly shot, it’s another clue that perhaps there was some cutting-down here, because if you’d gone to that bother why come away from it to tell us about it rather than actually show it being performed?
 
Yet to Come:
This section is done almost entirely through the narrator in his chair. We see the spirit arrive in its traditional black robe and carry Scrooge away. But apart from a single shot of his gravestone near the end of the section, the entirety of Christmas Yet to Come is read rather than shown to us. The narrarot tells us about the businessmen discussing Scrooge’s death and the Cratchits mourning the death of Tim, but we are shown none of it.

What’s To-Day:
Back to (attempted) acting a bit, as Scrooge awakes, takes a stroll around the Christmas fair and gives both a room and a job to the young woman who came to his office near the start to beg for work. He also has a young girl passing said office go to the butcher’s and order a turkey for the Cratchits – a request she greets with absolutely no surprise or enthusiasm whatsoever.

"Come and live in your spare room, no strings attached? Erm..."

 
When the turkey arrives, Bob declares it so be “a miracle!” which suggests that he has a rather low bar for fantastical events. Scrooge heads off to a pub which his nephew has booked out for a private family celebration, and joins them in their revels.
 
Review:
Oh God. Another dismal, amateur-hour effort which someone has shoved up onto Amazon Prime, having convinced themselves against all the available evidence that they are a film-maker.
 
If you have a passion or a hobby I would never say that you should give it up, even if you are self-evidently absolutely no good at it whatsoever. You can do whatever makes you happy. But why keep making the Carol? It’s pointless. There are so many professional versions that you’re never going to stand any chance of grabbing an audience or making any kind of impression. You’re just going to confuse and annoy people who accidentally start to watch it thinking it’s going to be some sort of professional production. Why not make your own story? Or do The Chimes or something?

In its defence, this is at least better than the similarly amateurish Irish version from the same year. The cast are slightly better, and it’s certainly much better shot. But that’s about all I can say about it in its favour.
 
The whole look and feel of the thing with its not-Victorian-Victorian-ness is just weird. The script is a badly-performed hackjob. Quite often the sound is very roomy and occasional dialogue is inaudible. It’s just complete rubbish.
 
In a nutshell:
A dismal effort on just about every conceivable level. Avoid.
  
Links:
Amazon Prime (But really, don’t)
IMDb